Gar mujhe is ka yaqee' ho: An open letter to the humanity

Faiz saab and I have this connection, one that I don't fully understand, but I fully enjoy none the less. The connection where he has somehow channeled my feelings into words so perfectly that they often leave me gob-smacked. One such piece is Gar Mujhe Is ka Yaqee' Ho. The poem to me is an open letter, a letter to humanity, filled with a profound life lesson, one that humanity needs to learn in order to survive. The lesson that if I could be a messiah, if any of us, in fact, could be a messiah we would, we would and then all will be right, then one way or the other, we would be saved by one single entity. But then that entity does not exist, our collective burden is too much, even our individual burden is too much for anyone else to bear. So no matter anyone else tries to save us, to be our savior, to be the one that comes and rescues us, they can't. But if they can't then what? Can no one ever be saved? Never be rescued? That's not true, the thing is each of us is precious, each of us is worth being saved. The catch is, the only one that can save me is me, no one else can, they can want to, they can want it really hard, they can even die trying, but they can't do it. The only one that can is me, the only one that can save you is you. So go ahead. Be your own savior, be your own messiah. No situation is too bad to not be salvaged. Go ahead, save yourself, save yourself for yourself and for the ones that love you so much had they been in the position to be able to save you they would, even if it meant that they had to sacrifice themselves for you. Go ahead, take that step, its always worth it.
Leaving you with the poetry and one better, I'm also leaving you the audio link to Tina Sani's mesmerizing voice singing the amazing poetry, so take a look, take a listen, feel important enough to take that first step towards saving you.

 

Gar mujhey iska yaqee’ ho
Mere humdum, mere dost.

Gar mujhey iska yaqeen ho
Ke tere dil ki thakan,
Teri ankhoon ki udasi, tere seeney ki jalan,
Meri diljoi, mere pyar se mit jaey gee.
Gar mera harf-e-tasalli
Voh dava ho, jis se
Ji uthey phir se tera ujd.ra hoa bai_noor diyar
Teri paishanee se dhul jain yeh tazleel ka daagh
Teri beemar javani ko shifa ho jaey.

Gar mujhey iska yaqeen ho
Mere humdum mere dost.

Rooz-o-shab, shaam-o-sehar
Main tujhey bhelata rahoon
Main tujhey geet sunata rahoon
Halkey sheereen
Absharoon ke, baharoon ke, chaman_zaroon ke geet
Amad-e-subh ke, mehtaab ke, sayyaroon ke geet
Tujh se main husn-o-mohabbat ki hikayaat kahoon
Jaisey maghroor haseenaoon ke barfaab se jism
Garm hathoon ki hararat se pighal jatey hain
Jaisey ik chehrey ke Thaihrey hoey manoos naqoosh
Dekhtey dekhtey he badal jatey hain
Kis tarah aariz-e-mehboob ka shafaf baloor
Yakbayak baada-e-ahmer se dekhak jata hai
Kaisey gulcheen ke liye jhuktee hai Khud jhuktee hai shaakh-e-gulaab
Jis tarah raat ka aiwaan mehak jata hai
Yoonhee gata rahoon, gata rahoon, tere Khatir
Geet bunta rahoon, baitha rahoo, tere khatir

Par mere geet tere dukh ka madava he nahi
Naghma jarrah nahi, moonis-o-gum_Khuwar sahi
Geet nashtar to nahi, marham-e-azar sahi
Tere azar ka charaa nahi
Nashtar ke siva aur ik safaak maseeha
Mere qabzey main he nahi
Is jahan ke kisi zeerooh ke qabzey main nahi
Haan magar tere siva, tere siva, tere siva...

https://soundcloud.com/rabeea-arif/tina-sani-gar-mujhe-is-ka

Life, sneaking up on me...

Although I've said this before, I'm sorry for the no show, but I'm here now, with the sudden urgency of saying it all, as if I didn't I won't be able to express myself later. Without further ado I'll get to it. Has it happened to you that you are so busy with being busy that you end up being too busy. And then life hits you, right smack in the face and you're stunned. Something like that happened to me this week, making me realize that I can't just take the expressway to hell by concentrating on work, the fact that I needed a lifestyle shift. I do not need a different life, I just need a different approach to living it. I need to do it because there are things that are important, that need to be done. I need to waste less time worrying about work and spend more of it on actually doing it so that I have time left to actually relax. I have spent so many hours of my life worrying that I won't have time, when I could have spent them working and then having actual time.
I need to stop stressing over things that cannot be controlled and start working on things that can, to exert control over life than to let it run free and wild. So that's where I've been. Trying to fix my life. Trying to keep that inevitable train crash to occur. I have no idea why I needed to put all of this out into the void, but I did, maybe the knowledge was too much to bear. That happens too, sometimes saying it, telling someone helps more than I would ever understand until I do.
I think the last sentence did not make any sense, but I'll just leave it there anyway.

That's all for this post. Ta!

I wonder what it feels like

I wonder what it feels like to wake up one day and have nothing to do, no task, no boxes to check, no places to be at no people to meet. To have nothing to do. To have the luxury called time. To wake up early and go for a run, to come back home and prepare a leisurely breakfast for yourself, then to dress up just the way you like it, take the time to take a proper bath and do your hair, do your nails take the pains of winging your eyeliner and triple coating your lipstick, just for you. The luxury of going out and window shopping, mindlessly wandering in and out of stores and trying on shoes without worrying about the ticking clock and places to be at and people to meet.
I wonder what it feels like. The luxury of having lunch alone at a bistro, ordering a meal and then not feeling anxious for it to arrive, smiling at the waiter and thanking him for his service. Then going ahead and ordering dessert because you have nowhere to be at and no one to meet.
I wonder what it feels like to come home in the evening and not have a pile of work to do, to simply change and browse through the movie channels until you finally find something you actually want to watch, to not have to stick with the news for the movies are long and you don't have time. I wonder what it feels like to know that you have no where to go and no one to meet.
I wonder what it feels like to get into the kitchen and take your time in preparing a meal just for one, having fun while you're at it. Then taking the time to properly set the table for yourself and to sit and eat at peace, enjoying every bite, enjoying the solitude. No stress and no clock ticking for you have nowhere to be at and no one to meet.
  I wonder what it feels like to painlessly clean the kitchen up and do the dishes knowing that its only 10 and there is plenty of time to unwind for you have nowhere to be at and no one to meet. Then to curl up on the sofa with a nice cup of tea and your new book and to have the pleasure of reading until you're groggy for you have nowhere to be at and no one to meet.
I wonder what it feels like to take a hot shower, clean off your nail paint, to moisturize properly and untangle your hair, to take the time out for your own self for you have nowhere to be at and no one to meet.
to be in bed at 12 knowing you will get a good eight hours of sleep and have nowhere to be at and no one to meet.

I'll take that, I'll take that in a heartbeat for I have a lot of places to be at and a lot of people to meet. I have a lot of pretenses to keep. But then I stop and wonder, how long will I be able to live that life, the life where I have no where to be at and no one to meet?